hello internet. extremely long time no see. infact i honestly forgot about you for a while so now i’ll make up for the months of neglect with EVERYTHING thats been going on.

i got back from lubbock -it was intense there. seriously, nothing short of boot camp for pre-meds. we were all sleep deprived the entire month so like many of us, when i got home i slept, i think, for maybr three days straight. i was up for about 28 hours the night before i got home and slept two hours before i had to get up to catch my flight. we did a lot of things that i hoenstly dont feel like talking about…or maybe im trying to block that part of my memory. either way its in the past and it was beneficial -alhamdulilah.

my husband was still in Dominica for school and lubbock helped a teeeeeny tiiiiiny bit with keeping me busy enough to forget how much i missed him, but it was still hard to talk to him every couple of nights and know he wasnt happy -i wasn’t happy- we both hated the distance and inconsistant communication. granted i was lucky enough to even be able to talk to him, but its still nothign like having him home..or heck, even being at home. i neevr thought i would wish to be at home so badly as when i was in lubbock. oh wait i was supposed to have stopped talkign about lubbock, huh?

anyhow i got back on the 29 of july and my aunt had her baby about a week earlier. WOW mashAllah what a little cutie. hands down, my husbands aunt and uncle make beautiful babies. so it was super sweet to finally meet little ibrahim and really just see my entire family again….minus my hubz.

so i guess you would find out sooner or later anyways internet, but since everyone else knows now , i am happy to announce that my husband and i are expecting our first -alhdmaulilah and inshaAllah-this december. yeah, four months away. which makes me six months, 25 weeks and 4 days to be exact, along today. i found out in march and it was ridiculous to get through third exams and finals with the fatigue and nausea, but i did. then my husband leaving for school and having to go to lubbock and lack fo sleep and homesick PLUS a heavy dose of preggo hormones was not a pretty concoction. but alhdamulilah it couldve been worse i guess. dang, i meant to post up ultrasound pictures but enevr had the time or memory to do so. i even took pictures of my positive test. oh wait thats somehting have to tell you about…

so i noticed some strange symptoms and took a test for the heck of it -totally expected it to be negative because ive had more convincing syptoms with a negative so surely not this time, right? wrong. when the second pink link appeared my jaw hit to the floor. then i laughed for ten mins straight. i laughed and laughed and laughed. i dotn know why but i couldnt stop laughing. then i made sujood and thanked Allah for the gift/blessing and prayed for healthy pregnancy and baby. then i took pictures of that sucker! which ill upload sooner or later. i took another one two days later jst to be sure i didnt use a faulty test or something and that second line appeared faster and darker than the first time. doctors appointment confirmed it about two weeks later, so i was officially pregnant.

and ya knwo what? i actually wanted kids for a long time….for like two years…if youve read any of my baby woes under ooh beh-beh over on the side bar, you’d know the kind of psycho i am. it wasnt fertlity issues, just plain ol’ timing. it was never the right time to even think about starting a family much less trying. THEN IT HAPPENED ON ITS OWN!!! boooo-yeaaaaa! so i was beyond ecstatic when it happened out fo the blue because it was like Allah’s timing which is the best timing, therefore i/we wouldnt have had to worry about whether we shouldve waited or not. ya knwo what i mean?

oh and its a boy! shoot, at the end of the day all i can ask for is a healthy baby, but i always wanted a boy first-alhamdulilah.

other news include other stuff i cant remember because i guess it wasnt important enough. honestly my head is still wrapped up around today. OH YEAH! i’ll tell you what happened today after i explain about july 17, which is one of my favorite days…and it’ll makes sense about today.

so i was talking a class durign summer II and hubz and i were talking about him transfering school but how much longer than would take if he had to finish this semester -blah blah blah. then i was in class that day and wanting -almost needing- lasagna so picked up ingrediants after class and was thinking about how funny it would be if my husband decided to just drop this semester and come home..infact i was imagining him coming off the plane and runnign to the nearest cab and stuff. anyways i was in the kitchen putting on final touches when i heard the front door open. it couldve been my dad who sometimes comes hoem early, but rarely at 1pm. i peered around the kitchen door and no one walked in but the door was opened a crack. classic way my husband opens the door to give S some time to put on a hijab if shes in the living room. but no way it could be him, right? WRONG. i opened the door and hubby was right there!!!!!!!!!!! i was shocked but totally unsurprised at the same time. why? because butthead wasnt picking up or returning any of my calls and completely dissappeard for two days! two days!!!!! do you knwo what kind of paranoia that spirals me into!?!?!? you have no idea! and my thing is that i assume the worst, so i was literally wanting to throw up with worry. but my calmer side felt like he was up to someting. he told me he was going to finalize everythign AND THEN come home…which wouldve been about a week to two weeks from when we talked about it. then he shows he shows up two days later?! it made also made sense to me why he didnt want me to -practically made me swear that i wouldnt-call the airlines to change his time for him and that he would do it himself which considering everythign i do for him is rare.

and omg, thank Allah i decided to shave and be all nice and smooth that night before- just for the heck of it! lol anyways it was amazing to see him again and a month sooner than originally planned. so he was here from july 17 til today, sep 1. now hes gone again, but not to school. hes taking this semester off to take a much need and loooooooooooooooooong awaited (like 13 years) trip to ethiopia to see his parents. he needs to do this, which i think is understandable on any level. nonetheless we havent mastered this whole seperation deal too well and it was immensely difficult to say good bye-again. although this trip is a happy one, it wouldve been ideal if we both went. BUT THANKS TO THAT ETERNAL INSTITUTIONAL HELLHOLE (School) i couldnt. not during next summer either. not even next year or two. this was the one window he had and id be damned before i let him miss this oppurtunity to see his parents. how selfish and just plain evil would that be? so although i wish so badly we couldve gone together, its more important for him to go atleast by himself than not at all. besides im not supposed to be taking 22 hour flights at 6 months along.

so he left today and took my heart with him. and i still have his here with me. inshaAllah i cant wait until i see him again and he can help me roll my whale like body by then whenever i need to change positions while sleeping. darn i cant call him as “regularly” (if you call every couple of nights and every night if the planets aligned perectly) as when he was at school, but inshaAllah he said he’ll get a phoen as soon as he gets there.

ugh. i hate sleeping alone.

i have to get my mind off of this. i need to focus. the less i think about it, the better i can function.

atleast i still have some of his clothes here – i will be sniffing those.

dang im a beast. im hungry again, but i just ate. i need to find some heavy duty carbs or something to keep me full for longer than 20 -30 mins. but anythign for my booooshie-woooshie-litttle-sweeeeeety. the hardest part is having an apetite for anythign when you dont want to eat but your stomach hurts because its empty.

oh yeah! ramadan mubarak internet! i cant believe its been a year. and uh, yeah, i wont be fasting this year. id rather make up 30 days than to starve my little pumpkin.

hmmmm.. what else? i cant think of anything else. infact i should be sleeping considering my full day of classes tomorrow. so im going to hit the sack now….alone…BUT IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT! nah anha nahanahanahanahan…blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

ok now that my spasm is over with, good night!