April 17, 2008
So the upcoming week(s) will be third exams/finals time and that means I’ll be away -as if I’ve been posting regularly anyway.
Therefor this is my excused absence for the next couple of days/week.
good news- the semester is almost over which means I’m closer to my graduation…in two years aka so long from now.
bad news- its that pimple sprouting grumpy irritating I can’t wait to be done with school time of year again…finals.
April 11, 2008
There’s one class that I loath like no other. It’s the darkness in my days and the nagging worry in the back of my head. I hate you Organic Chemistry. I hope you burn in the deepest hole in Hell.
I HATE THIS CLASSSSSSSS. No one understands my disdain and utter frustration with it. I can’t even describe it other than it enrages me and wraps me up in a knot of anxiety everytime I think about it. Seriously..it’s just like Calculus 2….I will never ever ever use it in my life again (aside from the MCAT).
I hate you Organic.
And you know what? I reeeeaaaally tried my hardest, my darn tootin’ hardest, to convince myself that it wasn’t so bad. That it just takes time. That it’s “fun”. BUT IT SHOULD BURN IN HEEEEELLLL!
After the MCAT if I ever hear the word “Organic Chemistry” again I’ll have convulsions and projectile vomit everywhere…especially on the person who uttered the hideous words.
Ya Allah, why do I have such trouble in this class. I study for hours a day-everyday, review everything, try to get ahead of the teacher before class, do all practice quizzes and test, but nothing works!
what. the heck.
This is beyond frustrating. I’m just starting to think there’s something wrong with me, like my brain is extremely anti-organic. For the last two exams I studied twice as much for the second and made the same freakin’ grade as the first! SubhanAllah I was going to fall over in my seat. I wanted to yell so badly. I hate this.
My third exam is next Friday with the final a week and a half later and quite frankly I’m a flashcard away from giving up. In fact I think I already have. And to make everything even peachier the stupid final has to be cumulative from ORGANIC ONE, not even the begining of Organic Two AND worth something like 40 percent of the average grade.
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I don’t even remember what we learned for the last test, much less last semester.
Ya Allah I’m scared.
This is the one class that’s really killing my GPA.
I hate you Organic….I hate you a lot.
It’s so discouraging when you work really hard at something and no matter how much to give it your all, it does absolutely nothing to improve your stance. It just plain sucks. And my motivation is at a bare minimum, if you call doing it because I already paid for the stupid class and I have to anyways motivation.
Even just looking at my book makes me furious. I know I can do this -yes…yes I can -but gooooooooooosh what the heck am I doing wrong! Someone for the love of God tell me what I’m supposed to be doing!?!!?!?!?!
This class has given me diarrhea.
Just kidding, but definitely an upset stomach. Even pepto bismol won’t help me this time.
February 17, 2008
So yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I have to admit that I didn’t realize it until half way through the day. Although the girls, and some guys, walking around campus with ridiculously coordinated red, pink, and white outfits along with chocolates and Victoria Secrets bags (is that something new?) should’ve given it away for me. It never crossed my mind partly because I never know the actual date of any given day -how I manage to meet deadlines, I don’t know. And secondly because I spent the day with my Organic book/notes so all I can remember is epoxides, NBS, and a nauseating feeling when thinking about how much I don’t know about Orgo.
I was on my way home when I ran into a bonafide jerk and then went to bed at 3am to wake up at 9am and begin the whole process with the unholy Orgo material. At least I’m not the only one suffering. My friends and I have formed what seems to be a Orgo cult that holds weekly meetings in the back of the library to study for hours on end. Be there or…fail the test.
I can’t wait for the end of this semester.
I don’t know where I’m going with this post. I’ve been fighting an insane urge to post about something all day and now when I finally can, zilch -I can’t think of anything.
Well actually I could go on about Organic and how I plan to master it, but that would just make you fall over in boredom. So I’ll spare you.
For now.
-amira
January 30, 2008
That’s it.
I’m tired of this. Well, actually I’m tired of running away. From what you ask?
Two words: Organic Chemistry
Let me be clear in that I’m not frustrated, scared crapless, or hate it. But I am extremely not up for dealing with it. Honestly, I have no one to blame but myself this time because I’ve had a God-sent two weeks for review and practice before my professor began the new material yet I still have not taken advantage of the opportunity.
Why can’t I have all Biology and History courses for the rest of college? That’s another thing I’ve had on my mind -changing my minor. Only Allah knows why I chose a chemistry minor when I really don’t enjoy it, but alhamdulilah I’m really satisfied as a Bio major. Except with the stupid requirement of having to complete up to Calculus 3. I never use Cal 1 or 2 in any part of my life, why waste more time with Cal 3?!
As I was saying, I would really like to change my minor to History and be a happy camper with my two favorite subjects, but I think I would graduate a semester or two later, which I can’t afford to do. So I’ll see what happens by the end of this semester.
Back to you, you filthy dreaded O’Chem. I’ve got something to say to you. I despise the way you haunt me day in and day out. You are like a dark cloud that will not allow the sun shine once more. I loath walking into the room and picking up our daily quiz only to feel confused, irritated, and queasy by a single formula and a blank page to fill in.
The worse part is that when you think “Whewh, no more steps to that reaction”, it was actually like a “pre-step” to the actual series of steps. Ugh! I’m already annoyed and we haven’t even began the new material.
But it is just an ugly bump in the way of my bigger dream, so I will overcome this hurdle. InshaAllah.
No, Organic. You will not get the best of me. You will not.
bring it on,
amira
January 18, 2008
It has began.
School started on Tuesday for me and that’s all I want to say about it -not really. I’m finally happy with my schedule and I am utterly behind in my Organic review which makes me want to cry. Thankfully I have a merciful professor who’s spending four class periods on review which are a God send but (BUT…there’s always a big ol‘ but somewhere) I really need this weekend to catch up except I’ll be at the Al Maghrib class from 10-7, so that dream is out the window. Anyhow I am guilty as charged right now because I should be reviewing/studying but nah, here I am not reviewing/studying and to justify that I looked at my notes earlier today.
Enough about cougarville/school related things.
I finally sound human again. I was “sick” for the last four days but I’m sure it was just my allergies which are trying to kill me; they get worse every time. They’re starting to come more frequently as well so instead of sounding like a deep-voiced-creature/ broken-car for a third of the year I sound that horrible for half. And who knew I could produce so much mucous? I sure didn’t. In my four coughing, spitting, dizzy days I’ve also perfected coughing up loogies. Ewh times a million on that, but hey I’m proud of my accomplishment so what.
Well I should get back to work or really start my work.
-amira
January 11, 2008
School starts in three days and nothing could make me more nauseous and nervous at the same time. I might just crap in my pants.
But remember me? I’m the school lovin’ freak. But I have a weird feeling going back to school like something is going to happen that will make me schizophrenic until April. It starts with “Organic” and ends with “Chemistry -part deux“. I’m trying not to go begin this semester with a predisposed dislike for Organic (Organic is my friend Organic is my friend), but ever since last semester it’s not quite as easy to force yourself to want to get through another semester of that.
To make matters worse this very prepared student (yours truly) hasn’t been reviewing her synthesis/reactions. I haven’t rolled an eyeball in their direction since the final, well over a month ago. So you betcha I can’t remember a single reaction. Hmmm, oxidation of primary alcohols to aldehydes? I’m sorry I don’t speak Spanish.
But I am a survivor. Yes-sir-ee-bob. I will inshaAllah start this semester by gaily skipping to my Organic class and frantically scribbling Carbons, Hydrogens, and Oxygens in their various combinations every Tuesday and Thursday. And I will love it -every forsaken minute of it- even if it kills me.
Please for the sake of a fellow human being make duaa for moi.
disturbed,
amira
December 13, 2007
feels darn tootin‘ good!
YEEEE-HAAAAAWWWW
Whoa. That’s what happens when you expose the Texan in you.
Well alhamdulilah finals are over with and I’m moving on to bigger and much better things. I will be having occasional meetings with that big talking screen again catching the one to three shows I actually watch and seeing people I haven’t seen since Allah knows when.
But the highlight of my beautiful four weeks off is T-D-C. Texas Dawah Convention -only the most fan-awesome-cool-tas-tic event of the year (next to Hajj that is, if you’re that lucky). I, for one, can not believe that a whole year just passed by since last TDC. A WHOLE YEAR.
What did I even do during that time? It’s so cliche, but it really was just yesterday that I was excited about TDC last year. SubhanAllah“ya’ll,” that is amazing.
If you have no idea what TDC is check out the link below and get with the program for heaven’s sake. sheesh.
December 5, 2007
On campus I run into a circus of people, some I already know and others I have come to know. Occasionally there’s the one person that you went to elementary school with, but doesn’t recognize you because your face has morphed and you’re now wearing something that makes you completely unrecognisable (a hijab), I guess.
I also run into many muslimahs which is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Although being the only girl wearing a hijab has never really bothered me, to see a mini community of like-minded young women really adds the frosting to my day. I like meeting new sisters that I’ve never seen on campus and running into ones I’ve known..maybe for too long. (kidding)
But now I’m starting to realize that maybe not all sisters feel the way I do. In my slight naivety I thought that all sisters felt the same burst of warm fuzziness when spotting one another, but I guess not.
I know my sister and I still get excited when seeing another muslimah on the road, at gatherings, or even Walmart because it’s sometimes a rare occurance.
Apparently the muslim sister you see is not someone to say salaam to, or even smile to, but Freddie over there in the corner? Yeah, go ahead and gleefully return his “wuz up” as he walks by. He’s obviously more harmless to you than a fellow muslimah…
I usually say salaams to any sister I run into, whether she’s a buddy of mine or a random Aisha or Fatima. And if I have to yell at the top of my lungs to say it, then I at least smile to say “Hey there sister-that-I-know-or-girl-that-wears-a-scarf-thing.”
Common courtesy says you should at least smile back, even if the person is staring and smiling really hard to make sure you feel their creepy eyes piercing through you. (clarification: I’m speaking for the creepy stalkers out there, not myself…NOT myself).
Some sisters don’t care to return the smile, I mean c’mon it’s the easiest and most simple type of charity you can offer. How lazy could you be to not move like three muscles in your face. I’m not saying that it bothers me when sisters don’t smile every time they see one another; sometimes you would have a joker face all the way to class depending on how many sisters you run into. But when someone smiles at you sweetly and as a gesture of “hello” I find it extremely rude to ignore it, or even worse, be angered or disgusted by it.
Fine, if you’re face will explode by smiling back then don’t. But if someone greets you with their salaams, you have to reply back. I don’t understand this new phenomena of ignoring one another. I also want to clarify that I don’t need the smiles or salaams returned, but 1) it’s an obligation and 2) where is the heck is all the love?
The Prophet Muhammed (saw) is reported to have said:
“There is no person who does not have the obligation of (doing) charity every day that the sun rises”
Realistically I don’t think we (the students) have so much extra cash that we can dump into charities right and left, so why not take advantage of the easier and equally rewarding acts out there such as :
“Indeed the gates to goodness are many: glorifying God, praising Him, magnifying Him, saying ‘There is no god but Allah’, enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong, removing (any source of harm from the road, listening to the aggrieved, guiding the blind, showing the seeker his need, striving as far as your two legs could carry you and with deep concern to give succour to him who asks, carrying with the strength of your arms (the burdens of) the weak. All these are (acts of) charity which are an obligation on you.”
And he (The Prophet) added:
“And your smiling in the face of your brother is charity, your removing of stones and thorns from people’s paths is charity, and your guiding a man gone astray in the world is charity for you.”
One of the most beautiful things about Islam is the utter simplicity of it all and it’s no different when it comes to charity. No need to have a juicy fat wallet with money (or monopoly money), heck you don’t even need the petty coins to put in the sadaqah boxes at the masjid (inshaAllah we’re putting in more than coins if we can). All that’s needed is the intention and currency free actions! Talk about easy!
I’ve decided to continue smiling at sisters I see anywhere and saying my salaams whether I get a reply or not. Just to point something out, older sisters always, always, always respond with a same, of not, better tone- just something I noticed and appreciate; makes me love their generation.
I don’t care for the “is-her-face-stuck-like-that?” look I get in return, but one thing is for sure, this kind of charity is too easy, way too easy, to let slip by.
-amira
P.S. Alhamdulilah the majority of sisters I encounter return the gesture. This is about the odd minority that don’t.
December 2, 2007
Well looks like this is my very first post in my very first blog…for the very first time. This is exciting for me because I’ve always been a blog reader, but to be on the other side of blogosphere is interesting. It’s 12:06 am right now, I should be trying to sleep after a super long day of NOT studying for my dreaded Organic final. A sense of sheer panic and wanting to wet myself overcomes me when I think about how close is it. Go ahead and ask me, the studious and responsible student, when my organic final is, go ahead.
IN TWO DAYS…one..two -TWO days.
Am I prepared for it?
Nope
Can you ever be prepared for it?
Nope
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Sometimes I study for so long and so hard I have dreams/nightmares about the material and everything in my day is a reflection of what I was studying and other days I intend to study and make an effort to, but somehow it just never happens.
But InshaAllah tomorrow’s going to be a different story. I’m picking up my friend and we’re going to hit organic like there’s no tomorrow. Sometimes I wish, so badly, that I can just absorb the information- yes osmosis would be fantastic, but sadly it’s impossible. Yet something like just eating the paper and having the information go straight to my brain- yes, although equally impossible, at least I can smother it in chocolate.
I want to keep writing, but I know I’ll regret staying up in the morning. Besides I’ll need as much brain juice as possible for my study-til-you-puke marathon tomorrow inshaAllah.
-amira
